meanings of love

In the aftermath of my little meltdown yesterday, I've been thinking a lot about what words can mean. And I've been thinking a lot about the way we react to words, as well as the way our words shape us in those reactions. I think I think too much.

The following is something someone told me long ago. I wrote the reaction long ago too, and adapted it to use at my wedding last spring.

A friend of mine once told me this:

“I believe the way we talk, the words we have, partially determines what concepts we have available, what tools we have for dealing with and clarifying reality around us and more importantly within us. There are some areas in English, however, that greatly need expanding. English is one of the most plastic of all languages, adopts and absorbs and modifies anything from anywhere, yet it’s so stilted in some crucial areas.”

One of these areas, I’m convinced more and more, is the concept of “love.” So much confusion and misconception could be cleared up just by adding some words to expand it from its simple singular existence into something that more accurately reflects the myriad ways in which we employ the word. It goes far beyond the romantic connotations. Adding more words would add corresponding concepts into the national consciousness and clarity to the vagueness, and maybe a little revelation and self knowledge. It could save a lot of wasted lifetime nationally.

The ancient Greeks had, what, 4 words for different types of love? The Hopi Indians have a dozen. We have one. A person can say I love my car, my mom, my house, my artwork, drag racing, milkshakes, my lover, my song, freedom, my dog, flying, the smell of burning rubber, my country, my spirit, God, and even sports teams, and that person doesn't mean the same thing at all by each 'love.’ And when we do speak of romantic love, we don't love each person the same way. It's not even about amount--they are just different, different frequencies and flavors, and sometimes not comparable.

I think that making assumptions from the vagueness of language causes a lot of problems and damage. People automatically assume the other person is talking about the same
concept/emotion/experience they mean just because they're using the same word. I think English needs some tuning up clarifying words. Maybe we should add some.

It probably won’t matter though. No matter how many words you have in your vocabulary for a concept, it doesn’t matter if you don’t truly believe in the concept in the first place. We give it lip service, but we don’t pay attention. I think that’s what our problem really is: too many of us “love” our cars and our houses and our flags, but we have never truly learned what it means to love each other.

And to love ourselves.

sunspark